League from my team and THIS CURRENT PERIOD)
This club, once famed as The Undisputed Kings of British Football with a well-deserved seat at the table of The Giants of Europe has now successfully reached some ridiculously new lows. Couple of days before I wrote this piece,
I stumbled upon, watched and enjoyed every bit of a video that compiled all Man United goals of The 2007/2008 football season. Boy we scored quite a truck load of goals, the players did have fun tearing teams to shreds! Because that is absolutely The Traditional United way! Right from the Busby Babes of the 60s through the Fergie Fledglings of the early 90s down to about the first decade of the 21st Century, Man United have had the custom of playing with some incredible amount of freedom, swagger and passion like no other. The fans have been treated to some ruthlessness in front of goal, absolutely crazy Fergie time goals, lightening pace on the flanks and some of the most breathtakingly devastating Counter attacks that always kept the fans on the very edge of their seats. This custom guaranteed two ever present eventualities: Constant Winning and Real Full time Entertainment. Which was why Yours Sincerely ever became very religiously, a Stretford ender and full-fledged Mancunian (Man United fan)
NOW?
Fast forward to 2015/2016. Oh hold on, let’s back up a little bit to 2012/2013 when A certain Fierce Scotsman (A personal Role Model) whose presence on the touchline constantly chewing vociferously, whatever gum it was and with eyes glued to his watch was unmistakeable, decided to draw the curtain on an exceptional, trophy-laden 26-year Managerial Career. Sir Alexander Chapman Ferguson was suddenly not our Elder at Old Trafford anymore. His parting address, still on my laptop moves me emotionally each time I watch. Never gets Old. Then came some sort of like for like replacement (At least that’s what we all thought) in David Moyes. I mean he was a Scot too. Reality, like a classless little pain-up-the-backside that it is was soon shoved in our face. Well that marriage ended about 10 months after solemnization. Then a Certain Dutchman stepped up. With a terrific performance at The World Cup 2014 with a particularly Average Dutch team and with a Mouth-watery CV, it was tempting to think, yeah, we were back!
So back to 2015/2016. Let me introduce the Dutchman the best way possible. He’s quite conservative, Methodical and particularly egoistic. But he had a nice CV so who cared? He’s Aloysius “Louis” Van Gaal. 21 months and a whopping 250+ million Euros in transfers after the seemingly peaceful Divorce with David Moyes, we the fans of this great club (yes, great. Please come and argue, only with your 20 Premier League titles though) can’t seem to understand why a team with so many attacking talents had only two shots on target in the whole of 2 games! I.e. Some 3hours of football! (Vs Liverpool and Southampton Successively). I joke not. Remember I was talking about a truck load of goals somewhere? Yeah, it’s the same club side. At this point, let me introduce The Philosophy to y’all. The “philosophy” is the way Louis has set my beloved club side out to play, and it’s an actually simple routine; Pass the opponent to death without really making any key passes, Do not try your shots, Do not dribble (as this is not a circus), Do not sprint, pass it back to the goal keeper then pass it all over the place again and hope the gods of football give us an own goal. Oh, and when things get awful, I’d bring on a Certain Huge Belgian Tree to join the attack while you dump the passes and relentlessly cross the ball into the box. REPEAT Routine. You’re a creative player who runs at defenders and a record buy from Real Madrid? Erm…please leave my club for PSG!
2015/2016, a season of some of the most unusual occurrences, first, Chelsea (Defending Champions) are not on the first page of SuperSport’s EPL League table screen, Leicester and Arsenal are fighting for the Title (Like The Hyena and The Rabbit fighting to be King of The Jungle while The Lion is on a strange sabbatical). This season, I could totally bet a fortune would have been won in early February if Sir Alex was in charge, I mean with Chelsea on vacation? Easy ride for the Scotsman. But no, Louis is in charge so we’re in an unsure 5th position with West Ham (Yes, the same West Ham we once helped put in the black hole called Relegation) challenging us to a duel for that position. Please cry with me, I can’t do this alone.
The extremely boring philosophy has attracted thumbs down from the fans and for the very first time in decades, the over 76, 000 fans at Old Trafford chorus some serious boos at the manager and players. These boos they do when they are not snoring! (Yeah, United’s game has become an effective Sedative) We may/may not eventually make Top 4 (although I think we will), but this style of football wouldn’t stop! At least not until The Board do the needful, FIRE LOUIS.
While I’m not a fan of sacking, best believe this is the best that could happen to all parties (even Louis) EXCEPT our opponents who are absolutely loving this misery go on. But I wouldn’t kid myself to expect it any sooner because football has its own brand of politics. But from The Talisman personally, it’s Taxi for Louis, #LVGOUT. This is so that the “Glory” in our popular “Glory, Glory Man United” chant is not replaced with “shame” by our annoyingly creative rivals’ fans led by “the noisy neighbours” of Manchester City and those Liverpool “kops”
Bye!
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