Ok, enough of playing around, let’s talk FOOTBALL!
All Hail THE KINGS!
Thank you very much Your Royal Majesties for giving me something to write about. The game that was to be the some sort of tough derby ended up being a very serious Sharia law type of flogging for Kings. Their manager couldn’t have imagined that their embarrassment was coming in a large bullion van. Dude never experred it. One after the other, The Kings’ goalkeeper was busy picking out the ball from his net after each goal (His most meaningful contribution) But wait…he got substituted! So the new guy came on and continued his predecessor’s job of picking the ball out from the net. He even went a step further by providing an assist for Spartan’s Bolaji to score (Fair play award for you, goalie). As if football wasn’t enough, Kings’ players decided to violate WWE’s ”Do not try this at home” rule by almost attempting a smack down on The Linesman (Hey, I’m just exaggerating o). Kings’ forwards were just as present in the game as letter “P” in the pronunciation of “Psychology” forcing this writer to believe the myth that Vanishing spray at times is effective on Human Beings. One of Spartan’s CBs after the game, had his jersey looking like it just arrived from The Laundry. Honestly speaking, Spartan’s goalie could have sat in his goal, picked up each and every Shakespeare Novel and translated them to Swedish to keep himself busy. The game ended 5-0
Team of the Week: Kin…. No wait! Not so fast, (With Heads bowed) Their Royal Majesties, KINGS FC
The Talisman’s letter to The FA
Kings FC forfeited the game at 5-0 (although this writer isn’t sure if “forfeit” is the word) probably because as the game progressed they found themselves next on Spartan’s football assassination/7-1 drubbing list. Here’s how to prevent such from happening next time: Allow the losing team to have two goalies once it’s 3-0, blindfold the opponent’s goalie once it’s 4-0, then allow the losing team to field 14 players once it’s 5-0, any more goals by the winning team after 5-0 should count as a foul and a Penalty awarded for the losing team with the goalie still blindfolded. Yours faithfully
Actual News
But let’s be serious, if Galaxy FC scores 5 against you, 5! For the love of God! It’s a serious problem but if one of those goals was scored by a goalkeeper, then the team I’m talking about just as to be Mu’naj. See why I love that Mu’naj team? But seriously, a goalkeeper?! If you’re a Striker in AFL and Galaxy’s Goalkeeper has scored more goals than you have please RESIGN from serious football and play 5-aside or Front-of-Boys’-Hostel football.
Warning: The article wasn’t written to be taken too seriously, so don’t get upset if you or your team gets trolled…and if you do get upset…erm…try standing (hands behind your back) and staring at the scorching Ekiti sun on a Sunday afternoon while waiting for the moon to appear by miracle. It helps
Oh, and by the way, LOLverpool refused to qualify for The FA Cup Final. Just thought you should know (Please pretend as if it’s Breaking News, as if you’re shocked to hear it, Please Please. Thanks!)
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