- Classic FC won the league title (In other related occurrences, it was discovered that Pigs actually don’t fly, Water is wet, A dog is an Animal and an Ayatollah cannot become a Pope)- On a more serious note, you guys can stop winning already, we get the gist, you’re good. Hopefully you start your title defence like Chelsea did this season. Amen?
- Mu’naj FC pulled a Criss Angel illusion on us and they still haven’t been found. The column desperately wants them back #BringBackOurMu’naj. Last seen: Halftime of what was only their second game of the season when they were 3-nil down already…Oh, they also fired the crap out of their manager that halftime
- Wolves FC got created, played in a jersey we all felt looked kinda feminine, then got whipped to stupor like kindergartens-I hope they’re replaced with a female 5-aside team comprising of the top plus sized girls in ABUAD (Should be much more fun) this season
- And there was a staff team-Veterans FC (See, this columnist paid an awful lot as school fees so I RESIST the temptation to write about this team…let me not go and play Ludo or Russian Roulette with my beautiful marks) Gracias
- Preston FC threatened to win the league, the other teams and this column had to appeal to them to you know, relax and be reasonable. “Very difficult to stop a grasscutter from believing it could beat the lion at a round of kick-boxing”-Igbo Proverb (applies to them)
- Galaxy FC hired a manager who just basically failed to understand the simplest principle of life : “Calming down and watching your team lose as a manager is an awful lot better than not calming down, watching your team lose and then getting fined for not calming down to watch your team lose"
- Trojans FC is the team that won’t score a Penalty even if the goalkeeper were blindfolded, his legs and hands amputated and the goal post widened. Thumbs are up
- Bulls FC also participated. Yeah…I’m pretty sure they were in the league too
- Super Strikers FC: For football’s sake, can your jerseys be Uniform for once! Thanks
- Alphas FC is a team this column never really understands. First, this column finds their jersey colour properly ridiculous, add that to the fact that watching them is not different from watching 60 year-Old Menopausal women playing cricket. Please go away
- Spartans FC proved yet again that they are the “Assistant Boyfriend” in the Parable of the Girl and her 10/10 fiancée story. Always very close to the goodies but never reaching it because someone else is in charge. On a more positive note, as usual, this column has moved swiftly to secure the second spot for you guys this season.
- Kings FC still haven’t found their calling. One minute they’re playing absolutely brilliant football (Scratch that, I’m exaggerating), the next thing, they’re unleashing 50 shades of Taekwondo and undiluted Kung Fu on their opponents. Get lives for yourselves people
Warning: Please don’t get all nuts or turn into a raging bull in a China shop cos of this article but if you do get upset then DO ME A FAVOR…gather your tears, mix nicely with crude oil and take a few gulps. Should make you less angry.
TWEET OF THE MOMENT:
KVNG Wanchan guy @certifiedopeboi
"When we finish with them ...They will turn to slaves😏😏 "
Here is this dude thinking of turning Kings FC to slaves, which is funny because it takes a player that plays for a team crowned Kings of AFL to talk about slaves…GERRARAHERE!
This is the Archbishop of BANTERbury (PILOT EPISODE)
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