Oh here’s a message from an Arsenal faithful;
“Congratulations Jose Mourinho & Chelsea. You loathsome bunch of ruthless, disagreeable, arrogant, boring, whining, bus-parking….Winners”- @piersmorgan
How Kings F.C lost to Classic F.C-Various Theories
(...) see details here
ü spectator’s Theory: Kings were 2-0 up at half time and ridiculously 5-2 down at full time! Kings, you had one job, ONE BLOODY JOB! After half time, park the Bus, submarine or any other means of transportation available for the rest of the game!
ü Tondelaya Della Ventimiglia’s Theory: Kings were 2-0 up at half time but legend has it that the celebrations began immediately. Unconfirmed sources have it that their manager, who was still in a state of shocking disbelief because of his team’s fine performance ordered a gallon of vodka, some fried and nicely garnished cockroaches and roasted Frogs for all his players except his goalkeeper. Goalkeeper got vexed, sold the game and the rest you know…is well, History. For the record, this theory is also called “The drunk idiot’s wisdom”
ü This Writer’s Theory: erm… the game was played and sincerely this writer does not give a flying Crocodile’s nose about details. The game ended 5-2! END OF STORY!
Still Yawning
This writer sat through the Trojans-Preston game and wondered if that game was a conspiracy by both teams to get every spectator on the field that day bored to serious tears. We practically begged them to score and frankly there was almost no difference between watching that game and having a decent dose of Valium injected into your system (both get you to sleep). Only thing that caught this writer’s attention was both Managers’ 14th Century Fez caps. Even writing about them both is BORING! The game went like this: Goal kick, ball bounces, ball is ballooned towards the sky, ball bounces again, dribbling fails, shot nowhere near target, Another Goal kick…Repeat
Team of the Week: Trojans F.C- The Talisman is truly pleased with your Penalty-taking. I bet you won’t score even if the goalkeeper were blindfolded, his legs amputated and the gaol post widened.
MEMO TO FA
Any player who removes his jersey as a goal celebration shall receive a red card, a hundred strokes of the cane, a strongly worded letter, delivered the following morning, colourfully pointing out his stupidity and shall be forced to play in his Girlfriend’s leggings ONLY, for the rest of the season
BREAKING NEWS
Ø Galaxy FC and Alphas FC also played (I’m very serious, they did)
Ø Onukak did not score a Hat trick. This is a positive test that he is actually a Human Being. This writer always thought he was some angry Hermaphroditic alien expelled from Planet Pluto
Ø FA himself (Olu) is actually an outstanding footballer. Just as good as “Mike the One-legged Guinea fowl” from North-Eastern Vietnam (This Writer saw him play on Sunday Evening)
The semi-finals and Finals (I do not reckon with LOSER’s final/Third place) would all be taking place this week including another UEFA Champions League showdown and so this week’s gonna be *in Barney Stinson’s voice* LEGEN… (Wait for it…wait for it…wait for it)…DARY!
Warning: The article wasn’t written to be taken too seriously, so don’t get upset if you or your team gets trolled…and if you do get upset…erm…Please try boiling The Mt. Everest for breakfast. It helps
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