OLU'S CORNER; Football players and managers aren’t exactly the smartest Humans! A-MUST-READ

                                                                    

 FOOTBALL’s BRIGHT SIDE-Vocal Gaffes

Let’s face it, football players and managers aren’t exactly the smartest Humans- All they have to do is kick a ball round a field or instruct others to kick a ball round a field! Here is conclusive proof they shouldn’t be allowed to talk at all and my responses. So let’s learn from Ol’ Eric Idle and The Monty Python and “Look on the bright side of…” well, football. Come on fine folks! Grab a chuckle or two

ü  "Bobby Robson is Bobby Robson and will always be Bobby Robson" - FREDDY SHEPHERD

(Eagerly waiting for you to make your point, pal)

 “Sometimes in football you have to score goals" - THIERRY HENRY

(Really? I never quite knew that. I thought the game’s objective was to try as much as possible to shoot the ball outside the stadium before the Captains of both teams challenge each other to a colourful gun Duel)

See more of this after the cut

ü  “I’d like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona”- MARK DRAPER

   (Oh here’s a smarter idea Mark, why not try a Somalian club, like Chelsea FC?)

ü  "Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today." - STEVE LOMAS

(Really Steve? what did you expect? 11 Fishermen or 11 Frill-necked Lizards? I’m confused)

ü  "We must have had 99 per cent of the match. It was the other three per cent that cost us." - RUUD GULLIT & “The possession stats at one point were 77% to 33%.” – MICK QUINN

(Elsewhere, their high school Mathematics teachers are about to shoot themselves through The Nostrils)

ü  "A game is not won until it is lost."- DAVID PLEAT

(This writer takes a deep breath, moves and seconds the motion that this guy, on the day he said this, was drunk with a gallon of Vodka mixed with Erythrocytes from a baby rabbit)

ü  "I don't know what we have to do to win”- DAVID MOYES

(In some other related news, Water is actually wet. We already knew that, Dave. This writer as a matter of fact thinks you’d make a better Ostrich farmer than a manager…Honestly)

ü  “Well, Clive, it’s all about the two Ms – Movement and Positioning.”- BOBBY ROBSON

(Here is Bobby Robson showing us just how Herculean the task of learning the Alphabet really is. Hang in there buddy, you’d be fine, there are just 26 of them!)

ü  “Sandro’s holding his face. You can tell from that it’s a knee injury.”- DION DUBLIN

       (With this impressive Knowledge of Anatomy, Dion would make an excellent Head Physio for Roosters at the next Cockfight competition in Southern Mexico)

ü  “Winning trophies has made me put on weight”- Rafa Benitez

(And then you get upset when Chelsea fans call you a Fat Spanish Waiter?)

Writer’s random thought: Any goal scored with a player’s backside should count as a hat trick (3 goals)                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

                                                                                                                                               

                                                                                                                                              

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